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· Hail Commifornia
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I wonder if a shopping cart can be construed as a deadly weapon?:eek:
Maybe one with spikes... that would be interesting... especially around Christmas time:eek:
 

· Hail Commifornia
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6,359 Posts
The picture that brings to mind is hilarious! :)

In the news today, at a local walmart, an armed man was arrested and charged with assault with intent to kill when the branches of his Christmas Tree decor in his cart poked out the eye of a local woman.

The victim, 67 year old Arlene Whatevername, said her life flashed before her eye (since the other eye got poked out), and she feared for her life. She refuses further comment, and her attorneys have not issued a statement. She says that her eye then fell on the floor, and was accidentally squished by a Walmart employee rushing to her aid. No word on whether this employee, who has not been identified, will be facing charges for stepping on her eye.

The would-be killer, 99-year old Jonathan Whosehisface, a local resident, is being held in leu of $20Million bail on attempted murder charges, and says that the victim was following him around throughout the store, and would not leave him alone. His attorney, Alex Greasebag, has issued a statement that the incident was simply an unfortunate accident, caused by a man turning his cart around in the aisle, and thus encountering the victim, who it must be noted, was a woman of extensive girth. In his incomplete statement, Greasebag noted that while his client was indeed carrying a concealed handgun and had the proper permits to do so, it had nothing to do with the incident, and in fact the presence of the gun was only known when he was taken to central booking. At the time, Whosehisface was still unconscious due to the multiple tasings by responding Deputies. The latter portions of Greasbag's statement on behalf of his client could not be heard over the chanting of the crowd, saying "no more guns."

In other news, former President Clinton appeared before the nation today to call for a revision of the 2nd Amendment. Citing the recent attempted killing of a woman in Walmart by an armed assailant, Clinton said "it is time for America to disarm the rebellous citizens bent on evil doing who have armed themselves with assault pistols...."

More news at 10:00....

:D:D:D
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is awesome and is so realistic!!!!!!!!:D:D:D

Nice Job!!!!
 

· Hail Commifornia
Joined
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6,359 Posts

· Hail Commifornia
Joined
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6,359 Posts
First one, the 89-year old was in a conflict over passage with another shopper, and hit her cart with his cart, and he did it twice. Not the same, buddy.

In the second one, the cart was indeed used as a weapon during a racially themed demonstration. Not the same, buddy.

In the third one, the kid used the shopping cart as a missle, tossing them on the the pedestrian walkway. Not the same, buddy.

Sarabian specifically pointed to my turning in the aisle with my shopping cart, and bumping the guy that was following me, causing him to lean back onto the aisle shelves.

Let's see some stats on that, if we would....
Eh, it was the first three I found. Seriously I would like to see actual stats as well...
 

· Hail Commifornia
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6,359 Posts
1. Go to customer service and report him, and maybe look like a fool in their eyes (oh, yah, a worrywart).
2. Ignore him and maybe get robbed in the parking lot, and/or carjacked.
3. Call 911 (yeah, right?)
4. Make a scene to force people to notice (good luck with that one)
5. Do what I did.

What would you have done, Sarabian?
I might do 1 or 5 depending on the situation.
 

· Hail Commifornia
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6,359 Posts
BTW, what is the statute of limitations on this?

I can get you the info on the Walmart in question, and the date and time it happened (in 2004), and maybe you can arrange for me to be arrested (good luck with that) and we'll see what happens in court.

What say you?
Word to the wise I wouldn't turn in Happysniper1, you won't like him when he isn't Happy. Met the guy once. He is 6ft 4in and 300pds of pure muscle. Funny thing is he turns green and has a Spanish accent.... Just Kidding!!!! :D:D:D
 

· Hail Commifornia
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6,359 Posts
Ok guys. Let's stop fighting about whose shopping cart is bigger...

 

· Hail Commifornia
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Is it me? Or everyone always has or had issues at WalMart?

... Go to Kmart or Target, lets see some new stories.

BTW In Brandon FL about 2-3 years ago, a Loss Prevention employee was fired and prosecuted for going to his car and getting his gun after identifying multiple "suspects" inside the store. He felt that he wouldnt be able to handle the situation by himself if things went wrong.

The guys actually shoplifted and thats when PD came over and locked him up along with the shoplifters! Lol
That is crazy, but if he wasn't allowed to have a firearm on duty per his guard card or contract or whatever they have, then he acted out of his authority I think. I think there is an underlined hatred for Walmart in America but many people go there, just becareful in the middle of the night....
 

· Hail Commifornia
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6,359 Posts
On the note of guns on tribal lands in AZ... If you are on state managed roads you are ok. As soon as you leave the state managed road, you are subject to the tribal laws. For example, you are driving on the 73 through White River, AZ on your way to Showlow. If you get pulled over on the 73, and stay in the shoulder of the road when pulled over, you will be fine. But if you pull off the 73, onto say Chief Ave, you are no longer protected by the state law, you are in tribal jurisdiction.
Very interesting. So it is a very fine line, as it was stated before you have to know the laws prior. I'm tryong for my CCW and should know this stuff although there are very few Tribal lands where I am at I think.
 

· Hail Commifornia
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6,359 Posts
Thanks man! I already feel at home with all the Glock crazy people. :)
Hey I am not crazy, my Glock said I wasn't. It is perfectly normal to read bedtime stories to your Glock and hold conversations about your day.:)
 
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