[ROYALE-W-CHEESE]

"There'd be a lot fewer hunters if ducks, deer, boar and varmints shot back."

"Gun control is using both hands."

"My long distance provider is Black Hills Ammunition."

"The #2 cause of violent death in inner-city America today is guns. The #1 cause? Not having one."

"If a mime shoots you, must he use a silencer?"


"Two big game hunters were arguing about who was the best hunter. They decided to settle the matter with a wager: the first to bag a lion would be known as the better hunter. They each waged a pint of fine aged scotch.

Next morning, they met on the African plain, and set their pints of whisky on the ground about 100 yards apart. They had hardly placed the bottles on the ground when they both noticed a huge lion equi-distant between them. Before either could take aim and fire, an airplane suddenly swooped down out of the sky and machine-gunned the lion.

The moral of this story: the shortest distance between two pints is a straffed lion."


When asked what he felt after sniping the enemy insurgent, the Staff Seargant replied: "Recoil."


Convenience Store Sign: Clerk Keeps Only $40 ...In Ammunition

 

[ROYALE-W-CHEESE]

An anti-gun politician visits an elementary school to discuss anti-gun laws ("Don't Play With Guns"). To make a point, during a quiet lull in the speech, the politician clapped-hands into the microphone. A few seconds later, another single, loud clap. This would repeat for a minute when the politician finally said, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in America dies from gun violence."

Little Johnny stands up and yells, "THEN STOP CLAPPING YOUR HANDS!"

 

[ROYALE-W-CHEESE]

I know you all have got a trove of 'em... Thread on!

 

[mikecu]

Bumper sticker:

"I used to miss my ex, but my aim is improving."

 

[Happysniper1]

A weathly Don is lying on his deathbed, his 10-year old son standing by his bedside, holding his hands.

The Don grasps his son closer, and whispers into his ear...."Son, I will be leaving you soon. Before I go, I want you to have my old revolver," and he points to the side table....the boy opens the drawer and retrieves a well worn, kinda rusted up .38 revolver. He brings it to his father.

"But Daddy, I was kinda hoping you would leave me your gold Rolex instead," said the boy.

With a snorting laugh, the Don hoarsely whispered, "if you come home early and catch your wife in bed with another man, whaddaya gonna do? tell him 'Time's Up"???"

Moral of the story: Always clean your guns, so that when your kids inherit them, they won't lust after your wristwatch!