You're right: the difference is subtle and not especially significant once you get used to either or both. Felt recoil is a perceived measure, meaning it's a little different for everyone but most shooters tend to agree the .40 is snappier (more muzzle flip) because of its hotter load.
.40: Greater velocity + smaller grain = faster, farther bullet
.45: Bigger, slower, fatter = more tissue damage
But as I've mentioned, these are subtle differences. Both will do what we want them to do in nearly every practical application of self- or home-defense. (.40 will do plenty significant tissue damage, and .45 will travel fast and far enough for most humans.) The technical debate is mostly academic, and few of us shoot in a vacuum.
I shoot .45 because I like the way it feels. Again, as you've noted, it's only a slight difference. And again, that's personal preference. I wouldn't want to be shot by either caliber.
Ammo cost is the real significance.
.40: Greater velocity + smaller grain = faster, farther bullet
.45: Bigger, slower, fatter = more tissue damage
But as I've mentioned, these are subtle differences. Both will do what we want them to do in nearly every practical application of self- or home-defense. (.40 will do plenty significant tissue damage, and .45 will travel fast and far enough for most humans.) The technical debate is mostly academic, and few of us shoot in a vacuum.
I shoot .45 because I like the way it feels. Again, as you've noted, it's only a slight difference. And again, that's personal preference. I wouldn't want to be shot by either caliber.
Ammo cost is the real significance.